As some of you that have been following my blog may know, I’ve been dealing with an awful custody battle.
I mentioned in my first story how I have humbled myself and I am coping with the situation better than ever now.
Although I don’t allow certain emotions to control my life anymore, some days are still harder than others.
Some days I am okay.
Other days I’m extremely gloomy.
Imagine only being able to see your child two days out the week for 8 hours a day.
Not to mention, I have 3 kids and my other 2 baby’s needs don’t stop during those 16 hours that I have my son.
Therefore, I’m left constantly trying to figure out how to divide my attention between my girls and my son, considering my son only recieves a portion of my attention already.
It‘s not easy. It‘s impenetrable.
I am always having to remind myself that this is only temporary.
This is only a season that will pass sooner than later, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m miserable some days.
I long for my sons presence.
I crave for him to be here with me majority Of the time.
I want to cuddle him at bedtime.
His sisters miss him and beg for him to come with us.
They don’t deserve this.
I don’t deserve this.
But, when my son is with me I have to be tough.
Even though I may want to wallow in my own tears of depression when I look at his perfect face because I don’t get to see it as often, I have to smile.
I have to act as if I am fine.
I don’t want him to see me down, because he needs to stay happy through this.
I pray for peace and serenity daily.
It will always be hard making dinner and not having to put out one more plate on the table for my son.
It will always be hard taking the girls to the park or to the pumpkin patch and know that my son is missing out.
It will never be easy.
It‘s never easy to fight for anything that means the most to you.
Especially when you know that you have a chance to lose.
I share my story with you all to remind you that no matter what you are dealing with in your life, you are able to overcome!
My good days definitely outweigh the bad ones, because, just knowing that my child is happy and healthy is enough to be thankful for.
I have been practicing a ton of gratitude lately and each day when I wake up, I try to think about everything that I am actually thankful for.
You should do the same.
Grab a journal or simply use your notepad on your phone and jot down everything you have to be thankful for and your entire mindset for the day will change.
Contrary to your belief, YOU are in control of your mind.
When my negative thoughts start to consume my thought process, I just redirect them to all of the good things.
I hope none of you have to embrace the things I am going through.
But if you happen to, you always have my story to remind you that YOU are stronger than what the enemy creates to bring you down.
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